don't you know?
by xCaligula
Summary: "I think a lot about you." Part three of my Shingen x Emilia series, implied sexual content.


Shingen has a crush, despite knowing that he's too old for such things, and despite knowing that it's entirely inappropriate to take an interest in someone like Emilia. He has a crush on her that he hasn't been able to completely ignore, but he does his best to avoid letting that get in the way of their work, and he's able to carry on like usual with her. And he doesn't turn into a lovesick schoolboy over her, and that is something that he's incredibly grateful for.

Emilia is incredibly attractive, something that he is not the only one to notice. She's young- much too young for him- and her innocent face and bright eyes and soft hair and excellent figure work together to make her all but irresistible, in his opinion. And then there's the matter of how her age and her intelligence shouldn't go together, but do. She's too young to have made it this far and to hold the position she does at Nebula, and yet, here she is. It'd be impressive for anyone of her age to have accomplished so much, and he's always admired her as a result.

Her transition into the company was a difficult one, however. Being young and so unbelievably smart did not always do favors, and there were those who didn't believe she'd earned her position fairly, and those who wanted to treat her like a child, rather than their equal. There were those who talked poorly about her good looks and how she must have used them to get ahead, and there were those who wanted to see if they could use her as a result of those rumors. Shingen had decided before meeting her that he would treat like anyone else, but when he saw the way others were talking about her, he couldn't help going out of his way to become the friend he felt that she needed.

That was when he really doomed himself, in terms of falling for her. Though he didn't openly give her any special treatment, he made sure he could find a way to be present when he knew that she was with co-workers with ill intent, and he tried to make conversation with her at any opportunity, always talking to her like an equal. In this way, they became fast friends and he realized just how much he enjoyed talking to her. She's funny and charming and sweet, and discovering that was the final nail in the coffin. When he thinks about the fact she's never been bothered by any of his eccentricities, he doesn't know if he'll ever get over her.

Shingen has a crush on Emilia, but he doesn't want to let her on to that, not when he's done so much to build a friendship with her and not when it's so very inappropriate, given the age difference, given their places in the company. He does his best to carry on as usual, even if his wishful thinking causes him to see flirting when he knows there isn't any, there can't be. Any confusing actions from Emilia are a result of his own desires clouding his judgment and causing him to read too deeply into things. It's especially rough on him when they work late nights together and he knows that they are the only two in the whole building.

When Emilia goes uncomfortably silent on one of these nights, silent for longer than he's used to with her, he notices. He looks over to see a troubled expression on her face, and he wonders what could have caused something like that. Perhaps she's getting too tired to focus on her work and they should call it quits, or perhaps she made a mistake that he hasn't caught yet and is trying to think of how to fix it. He's about to ask her what's bothering her, but she speaks up first.

"Do you actually like working with me?" she asks. He's taken aback, but, of course, she doesn't see his surprised expression.

"What kind of question his that?" He responds with a question of his own. "Why, do you think I don't or something?"

"I was just wondering," she says, her expression not changing. "I know a lot of people don't think very highly of me, because of my age and all. I've heard some of them talking, and I...not you!" She stops herself suddenly. "I've never heard you say anything like that, but I was still a little worried if you were just being nice to me because I'm young and you feel bad for me."

"I'm nice to you because I respect you," he says simply. "I talk to you the way you deserve to be talked to _because_ you deserve it, and for no other reason than that. I enjoy working with you because you're a good worker and I don't think of you as someone I have to go easy on. I think of you as a valuable co-worker and a friend."

For a moment her face lights up, and he's a little embarrassed by the way his heart skips a beat when she smiles like that, but then she frowns, looking uncomfortable once again, and she sighs. Has he managed to say the wrong thing? She's more confusing than he ever realized, and at this moment, all he wants to do is put his feelings for aside and figure out a way to make her feel better.

"You're so nice to me," she says quietly, and he thinks, for a moment, that she thinks of that as a bad thing. Shaking her head, she smiles again, but it seems artificial, and Shingen really has no idea what he's supposed to say to her.

"Do you think we should call it a night?" he asks, knowing that this isn't a very good response.

"Is that all you think of me?" she says, ignoring his question. "I mean, is there anything else, not that anything you said was bad..."

"I think a lot about you," he replies, saying just the slightest bit more than he knows he should. He couldn't help himself; Emilia has thrown him for such a loop that he can't collect his thoughts properly.

She places a hand on his arm suddenly, and pulls it back just as suddenly. Her ace is flushed, and he's glad that his mask hides that his is as well. Before he can ask, before he can question her action, she does it again, but this time, she places her hand a little closer to his. She tugs at his glove, playing with it absentmindedly and not meeting his eye, staring somewhere around his shouler. He knows that there aren't many ways to interpret her behavior, but old habits die hard and he's still trying to convince himself that his feelings for her are unrequited and inappropriate and should be ignored, suppressed.

"Like what?" she murmurs, and she stops playing with his glove and simply grabs his hand. He doesn't answer and she steps closer, until their bodies are nearly touching. "Do you think about me like just a co-worker?" It's so clear that she has no experience, but it's also clear that that _is_ her goal, as unbelievable as it may seem to Shingen.

"Emilia," he says, and his voice actually _cracks_ ; he hadn't realized that his throat was so dry, that he was getting so nervous. "Emilia, what are you trying to do?"

"Don't you know?" she asks helplessly, sounding humiliated. He almost feels sorry for her, but it isn't as if he's got any idea how to behave in this situation and he's really just as helpless as her. It's admirable that she's trying to take the lead, but both of them are entirely clueless.

"I think you're beautiful," he admits, "and I've had a very hard time thinking of you as only a co-worker lately."

"Do you like me?"

"Do _you_ like _me_?"

"Don't you know?" she repeats, but her tone is less pathetic this time, more sure, bordering on outright flirtatious.

"And you know that you have to be around half my age," he says. "I know you're aware of that. But do you know about my son? Do you know that he's actually a bit older than you?"

"Does that bother you?" she quickly asks, and he can tell that the age gap has been a source of insecurity and hesitation for her as well, but for a slightly different reason.

"Well, I've always thought that age has no place in gauging affection, but I thought it might be more of a bother to you, that I'm so much older than you," he replies. When she shakes her head, he continues, "And you've never even seen what my face looks like. I could be hideously deformed, you know, and you'd have no idea!"

"Oh!" her eyes widen and she actually looks surprised. "I hadn't really...I haven't considered that in a really long time. I guess I'm just so used to seeing you like this that I forgot that there's a face under there. But I already, um...I already like you so much that I guess I don't really care what you like that." Her face reddens considerably and it's so adorable that he falls for her a little more just over that.

"You've really got it bad, don't you?" he teases theatrically, trying to cover up just how flustered she is making him. She drops his hand and nods, so adorably embarrassed. He's aware that her confession is going to end with them making love, but he wonders if he should be the one to bridge that gap or if he should let her continue with whatever she is going for.

"Well," she says, looking at him with fresh determination, "I guess I'll have to see your face eventually, if I'm ever going to kiss you!"

"Do you want to kiss me?" he asks, almost playfully.

"Can I kiss you?"

In response, he takes a breath and removes his mask, setting it aside, and Emilia gawks at him in what he hopes is meant to be a pleasant manner. He's never thought of himself as particularly unattractive, and she's already said that she doesn't care what he looks like, but for a moment, he feels very self-conscious. But then Emilia closes the remaining distance between the two of them, softly and hesitantly pressing her lips against his.

She jerks back, her face red, and now he has nothing to hide his own blush. There's only a second of awkward hesitation, however, before she grins and throws her arms around his neck, kissing him in earnest despite her lack of experience. He returns it, guiding her through it and rubbing her back, clutching at the small of her back with one hand while the other roams further down. He's always known he wanted her, but it isn't until he has her this close that he realizes just how badly.

Emilia can feel it, and gasps into their kiss, and he knows she wants him back, he knew that this was how things were going to play out. When he breaks the kiss, there's a new look in her eyes, one that he's never seen on her before but one that he can read very plainly, and neither of them do much thinking from that point on. At some point, their clothes end up on the floor, and she ends up on the table, and he doesn't put his mask back on because he wants to let her look at him as much as she wants.

He thinks that she might like to be teased and he takes things slowly, and when she protests, it's a lighthearted sort of protest, and when he's done dragging things out, it's easily one of the best nights he can recall having. When it's all over, they will agree that it won't be their last encounter, and they won't be able to keep away from each other from that point on.

They'll start dating, not entirely publicly but not entirely a secret either, and he'll still wonder how he managed to get someone like her. He'll wonder how his crush went from impossibly, inappropriately one-sided to a relationship like this, and he'll be certain that she makes him happier than he's ever been, or ever will be. Eventually, he knows that they'll end up married.


End file.
